I just burst out laughing
at myself when texts blast
the camera-that-makes-phone-

calls out of its inert state,
forcing my aging brain to puzzle
out current-day acronyms.

The one that read TIA startled
me into a fast response:
Did you have a stroke?

to which the sender returned
a series of guffawing emojis,
masking, I think, a smidgen

of condescension: It means
Thanks In Advance. Oh, yes,
my level of out-of-it-ness

increases each year. I recently
learned IMHO from someone
who was definitely not humble

about an opinion, and that COB
does not refer to corn. WTF?
Some seem obvious: GF, BF, BFF.

And I’ve been HBDing for decades.
But HMU? MFW? OOTD? The
longtime teacher in me likes to

to amuse younger folks who grin
as they patiently explain to this OL
that LOL is so passé, that the kids

text IJBOL now. Ah, I say, but here’s
an oldie but goodie that people
pecked out on antiquated pieces

of technology called typewriters
or scribbled by hand on an old-
fashioned card that you’d slide

into an envelope, onto which you’d
affix a stamp and mail at a post
office—a classic that now leaps

through the miracle of cyberspace
to light up our devices and makes
me 🙂 every time I see it:

XOXO.

•••

If you, like me, need translations:

IMHO: In my humble opinion
HMU: hit me up
MFW: my feeling when
OOTD: outfit of the day
COB: close of business
HBD: happy birthday
OL: old lady
LOL: laugh out loud (you know this one…)
and, of course,
IJBOL: I just burst out laughing