Author Archives: janishaag

A day like this one—afterdayafterdayafterdayof gray skies, low-hangingtule fog, stupid fog, notpretty, wispy, mystical,moody San Francisco fog— when the sun makes ata da! appearance, though,of course, it’s been makingits daily march across the skywhile we hunkered downunder the stupid cold … Continue reading →

While you hold it you can’t get lost. … Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.You don’t ever let go of the thread. —William Stafford, from “The Way It Is” ••• I am the thread, one who keeps you connected … Continue reading →

Your heart’s no good as a heart until it’s been broken at least ten times.—Actor/screenwriter Emma Thompson quoting her grandmother ••• 1. Being born. If that’s not a heartbreaker, what is? Coming into air, for starters, cold air that prompts … Continue reading →

Just look at them flaunting their true colorsthat have lain hidden under their modest greenrobes since spring. Some leafy one must flip a switch, and the treesthat participate go all-out like the drag queensthey secretly are for the rest of … Continue reading →

(on World AIDS Day 2025) Because of those men who lived, dying,in the houses of friends like mysister-in-law—and so many others— men looking like victims of famine,skin stretched tight over skulls, men whosehands we held in the early 1980s when … Continue reading →

Behold this day, for it is yours to make.—Black Elk And given that the average humanon the globe has approximately26,280 days (or 72 years), you don’t have time to waste.I often think of my late husbandwho didn’t even achieve 18,000 … Continue reading →

But you think it is, as you wrap yourselfin her bathrobe, swaddled in so muchmissing her, a great ball of grief that cannot, will not, untangle.And you don’t want it to. You wanther back with a fiery fervor, the shade … Continue reading →

(for Annie and Nikki) I am drowning in Mom bling,the woman who went, always,for the shiny, the glitzy,who, upon her departure,left behind more necklacesthan she could ever wear. And I, having met and fallen fora little girl immigrating from Chinawith … Continue reading →

(for Ashley and Kevin) The one where we grew up, which is no longer ours,which belongs to the next generation in the familywho have, thankfully, spiffed it up and made it their own, so much so that if my sister … Continue reading →

Years ago, working to retiremy heartfelt litany ofI’m sorrys, I decided to replace them witha dozen or more simplethank yous each day. Not that I keep track,but I still toss handfulsof gratitude to the wind like the tiny specks of … Continue reading →