(In memory of Julia Ellen Cook)
Her voice still ricochets around in my head
when I’m chewing on a problem or in grief—
Honey… in Julie’s nasally twang—though I have
no idea where she picked that up, not having
grown up in a place where folks twanged
their vowels. I met her when I rented her
studio next to the garage on Serenity Hills
Drive. Out my window I could hear the
neighbors’ two horses and a goat munching
sweet grass in season and where I learned
that a cut-up apple or chunks of carrot
could make you a friend in short order.
Julie’s Honey… came out as kindness, not
condescension, always accompanied by
a heartful smile of affection. In my twenties
then, I wondered how old you had to be
to carry off such an endearment without
sounding patronizing or, well, old. And I’d
never have her twang. Years later when I
found myself standing in front of roomsful
of college students, some of whom appeared
at my office door in tears, I heard myself
Honey… a young woman who reached for my
hand and squeezed hard. I squeezed back.
I found that if I delivered the sentiment
(or maybe an occasional Sweetie…)
with the right smile and honest compassion,
it could convey a gentleness and the kind
of sympathy that feels like a just-right hug.
Now that I live in the land of older ladies,
I hear myself Honey… people—hoping
they feel the verbal embrace, a kind of
holding that says I’m sorry, I’m with you,
How can I help? Which we all need more of,
that sweetness, that tenderness, that mercy.


Oh my goodness! How I love this! I love the skillful way you bring in the other kind of honey at the end and tie them together – a balm of sweetness. Oh Honey! This is beautiful!
xoxo