We in the news business would like to ask
if you might support us with a small donation.
We would not normally make such a request,
but these are, as you know, far from normal timse.
As newspapers face rising costs and are forced
to drastically downsize personnel, despite being
owned by billionaires, we have decided to put
the onus on you, reader, if you would like to see
quality journalism continue.
We cannot promise that we will not cast a narrowed eye
on coverage that we deem unfair or on political cartoons
that do not agree with our views. (Oh, wait—we fired
all the political cartoonists. Never mind.) And for those
fretting over the fact that we (long ago) let our copy
editers go and more recently all photographers, let us
remind you that everyone has a camera in their
phone these days. And spelling and grammar (or
consistency, for that matter are overrated.
Not to worry that some of our best and brightest
staffers are wondering whether their unemploymnt
checks will arrive (keeping our fingers crossed), or that
prize-winning professionals are befuddled about their
futures as well as the state of newspapers in this great
country. The old practice of journalists holding power
to account is passé, after all. We have faith that you,
our readers, will step up and pony up your hard-earned
dollars so that we can continue to serve you as we
(and our powerful friends—not naming names) see fit.
Thank you very muhc.
•••
To my readers:
While I created this fictional letter for satirical purposes, it has elements
of appeals I’ve received from struggling media (including typos).
This is not to say suggest that readers should not help support media
they trust and believe in (Sacramento’s new local abridged.org site, for example).
But for those of us committed to fair and responsible journalism, it can be
infuriating to receive appeals like this from well-heeled corporations
cutting staffers (including reporters, copy editors and photographers)
and resources that are needed to do good work.
And you never need to pay me for what I do here. Thank you for reading!
Güd wrtr 
I live in a tiny rural town in south central Washington. We receive (and have done for 184 years) our local paper once weekly in our mailboxes. Over time, it has been reduced to a shadow of its former self, having sold its Heidelberg press and turned to outsourcing its printing, but it is still running, having added an on-line presence in recent years.
This is a now rare-as-hen’s-teeth blessing I will never take for granted. I occasionally contribute articles whenever the publisher sees fit or, more importantly, a letter to the editor. When’s the last time you saw one of those?
Local news, especially in an area as isolated as my home town and its environs where the Internet may not yet have reached, is vanishingly small unless you want to hang your news-hat on social media–a noisy domain whose denizens are difficult to vet and nearly impossible to filter for the truth. Much is expressed about unsourced and unsourceable “belief”, which I’ve found has little to do with rationale. Fly-by-night, flash-in-the-pan, journalistically untrained social media drive-by writers of culture-war drivel seem to be saying to us, “Why demand a map for uncharted territory?”
So, Jan, to add to your plea to your readers, the next time you hit a news pay wall, if you trust the source, pony up and PAY! You’ll be amazed at the treasures you unlock, and it costs so little. I have one credit card that I used strictly for that purpose. It keeps it simple to read news I trust and support those whose thoughtful and often heroic efforts bring it to me.
And don’t forget the other hard-copy news domain: If you happen into one of those other rare things, book stores that stock magazines (and print newspapers, for that matter), make at least one purchase of some publication that intrigues you. And spend time at your public library, institutions that find themselves increasingly under attack by self-righteous book-banners these days, individuals who wouldn’t know literature if it hit them in the kisser.
In any of those scenarios, you’ll be supporting the Fourth Estate, especially because at least two of the other three are failing us. Correspondent Ali Velshi recently said, “Firing journalists affects the ability to bear witness. You cannot hold power to account if you cannot bear witness in the first place. “
The loss of independent, solidly-sourced, professional journalism could just end this great experiment we call America.
I love this poem. Very creative and the sarcasm is on the money. Much needed resistance to the assault on freedom of speech.
Love this. So sad to see journalism go downhill, but there are pockets still!