I looked it up: 33% to 42% of people
give nicknames to their cars, with
40% of younger drivers doing so.

We Boomers not so much. Except
that I have three close female friends
in my age group who’ve named their

rides—all quite cleverly. These are
the people who are likely to say,
when they learn that I have

a new car, “What’s her name?”
While I’m all for the gender choice,
shouldn’t cars be nongendered,

especially in this day and age?
Apparently, about 55% of drivers
personify their cars as female.

And nearly 73% of drivers who name
their cars say they feel a stronger
emotional bond with their vehicle.

Listen: I find it hard to name pets.
I’ve had cats and dogs for months before
they let me know their names.

But when the photographer in my life
posed the new car and me under
the deep rosy crape myrtle,

I thought, “Maybe she’s Myrtle,”
which surprised me. We call the new
crape myrtle in front of his house

Myrtle. Would that confuse the tree,
to have another Myrtle parked near it?
And such an old-fashioned name—

right up there with Edna, Bertha,
Florence and Mabel. She’s such
a sporty car—shouldn’t she have

a racier name? Doesn’t matter.
I’m a Boomer who has not named
her cars, even the ones I most loved.

But maybe it’s time to turn over a new
leaf, Myrtle. Maybe you’re just the kick
in the pants this old gal needs as you

and I drive together, taking the bumpy
with the smooth, seeing just how far
we’ll go (sing it with me, baby)

on this long and winding road.

•••

Statistics from a survey by the GM Buy Power Card
as reported by CBS news in 2018.