(for Dick Schmidt)

More than any other on the calendar,
this might be your favorite holiday,
now that I think of it,

so me and the girls salute you
by removing the booby trap,
the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder,

the flopper stopper, the melon harness,
the hooter hammock, the cleavage commando,
the double-barrel slingshot,

because although I sometimes
take the girls for granted,
you never have, bless you.