(for Dick Schmidt)
More than any other on the calendar,
this might be your favorite holiday,
now that I think of it,
so me and the girls salute you
by removing the booby trap,
the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder,
the flopper stopper, the melon harness,
the hooter hammock, the cleavage commando,
the double-barrel slingshot,
because although I sometimes
take the girls for granted,
you never have, bless you.
It became obvious that I’ve not spent much time thinking about this article of clothing when I guffawed heartily at your list of colloquialisms for the vaunted brassiere, most of which I’ve never heard before. Call me socially naïve.
Coincidentally, a few weeks ago, I discovered an article in the October 5, 2024, issue of Vogue magazine entitled “Who Invented the Bra? A History of the Controversial Garment,” something I read from a salon’s magazine selection while awaiting a haircut. The modern version of the bra began as two silk handkerchiefs tied together by American publisher, writer, and socialite Caresse Crosby, finding herself in need of something less imposing than the then-ubiquitous corset for her diaphanous evening dress. She went on to patent the invention in 1914. However missing from the article was my own historical knowledge that the bra’s roots go back to ancient Greece, where women wore the stróphion (the Greek diminutive of “twisted band”), a soft strip of cloth that covered and supported the breasts.
Predating Greek civilization, however, Minoan women living in the warm climes of the Mediterranean appeared to view their exposed breasts as a normal part of daily and ceremonial attire, linked to fertility and the worship of a mother goddess, at least as depicted in frescoes and mosaics of the era. Scholars debate whether this was a universal attitude and custom, but if true, perhaps it showed this culture to be far more enlightened—more charitable to the comfort of women than we are today. For my part, I’m glad for all the women in my life that the protective design, style, and even beauty of the bra has been engineered and improved to what it has become in 2026. It certainly deserves a day of its own.